Lego_Vik

Coffee, and the obtaining thereof in the workplace

I'm not a coffee snob. In fact, I couldn't care less about the coffee I drink as long as it has plenty of milk and some sugar in it. So I'm quite happy with vending machine coffee in general, which is a good thing because it's all we can get in work :-)

There used to be a coffee machine quite close to my desk, which was suitably handy. The only thing that annoyed me about it was its lack of a "cancel" button, so when you fancied a change from coffee, you'd dispense one shot of sparkling water into your giant mug (which holds two or three shots) and then your subconscious would take over and the second shot would be cappuccino, and you'd end up with something entirely undrinkable.

Anyway, recently it started making grinding noises, and sadly I don't mean whole-roast-coffee-bean-grinding type noises, but rather machinery-grinding noises. And now it sits, darkly in the corner, with a note attached saying it has gone to that great workplace in the sky (to which someone has added a post-it note with a haiku lamenting its passing) and a comment that it will shortly be replaced with a nice, shiny, brand sparkling new machine.

So, for the moment everyone from my end of the building has to traipse down the corridor to the next nearest vending machine. And evidently as a result, that one is getting overloaded and is becoming prone to dispensing faintly brown-coloured water, rather than coffee. Yuk.

So off we go to the next one, only to discover it is in the process of being cleaned / serviced and won't be available for the next 10 or 15 minutes. Argh! At this point my options are running out. I am aware of two other coffee machines in the building, one of which has a bizarre metal clip-like thing that prevents me inserting my cup under the spout (it is clearly designed for people with miniature drinking vessels, whereas I have a bucket-like container).

So, off to the last chance one we go. As I approach it, I see a handwritten note pinned to the front of it which sends me briefly into a panic - but closer inspection reveals that the note only advises tea drinkers that the machine is out of tea. Phew. I do like tea, a lot, but unlike coffee I am FUSSY about getting tea right; vending machine tea just Will Not Do.

So that's OK, got my coffee. I estimate that in the process of obtaining it, I walked about half a mile in total. And of course, by the time I get back to my desk, I've finished the damn thing and have to go and get some more :-)