Lego_Vik

Cambridge and friends (or lack thereof)

While I really really like living in Cambridge, I do sometimes feel rather isolated here. Hardly any of our college friends have stayed around here, most are either in London or abroad; and we don't know our neighbours well at all (almost all of them are well past retirement age, so we say Hello when we pass them but don't really have a whole lot to talk to them about; those that are closer to our sort of age are either a) terminally weird (and no doubt they think we are too) and/or b) very reserved themselves, so the chances of us and them actually making any sort of social contact are basically zero.

In one sense I prefer it this way, because neither of us are the type of people to want to be popping off to parties / social gatherings every weekend; we like our free time and doing stuff with just the two of us. BUT, it does get to me from time to time that there's no-one IRL to chat about stuff with. Is it really strange that far far more of my friends are on-line than IRL?

I sometimes wonder whether this feeling of semi-isolation is something peculiar to Cambridge, but actually I think it's peculiar to me/us. I suppose when it comes down to it, if I really wanted to I could go out and "make friends" with people, but I'm not totally convinced the advantages outweigh the disadvantages. I guess I'm just an anti-social b**** at heart :-)
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I don't think it's peculiar to Cambridge...we went through the same thing while living in Virginia. We moved down there not knowing anyone, and three years later when we left we still didn't know very many people. All our friends were from work, which meant that they were mostly all men, and all were computer people. Both of which are fine, but I had no girls to go shopping with or talk about girlie stuff with, and we had no escape from neverending conversations about computer stuff. And even if you're into those things, sometimes you just need/want to talk about other things! Neither of us is the sort to go out to parties or clubs or whatever with the intent of meeting new people, and like you we'd rather stay home more often than not. But still...well, there's no reason for me to go on, really, since all I'm doing is repeating what you said. :-P So the short version: I know *exactly* what you mean.

We'll see how it works out here. We have some friends left from high school, and friends from college who live in NYC and Boston and Rhode Island (we're no more than 2 hours from all of these places, so they're pretty close). And our families are here. But I don't expect we'll miraculously become any more social.

One thing that bothers me, too, is that I have two very good friends, but as they are both LDRs in a sense (one lives in San Francisco and the other in Philadelphia, though we do get to see the Philly one a few times a year) there is a boundary between us that I wish could just disappear. Particularly my friend in SF...he's someone I'd really like to be closer to but there's always a barrier when 99% of your communication is by email or snailmail, you know? I know if we lived closer (we lived together in Bath) we could be very close friends, but right now that seems like something we just can't have.

OK, that was a slight tangent, but still. :-)

You hit the nail on the head there :-)

I'm glad to know I'm not the only one who feels that way! I do think it's funny when you describe people as being pretty close when they're 2 hours away - several of our friends are in London, which is less than an hour by train from here, and we basically never see them because they're too far away :-)